i totes did.

F**king a Mermaid from Jennifer Holder on Vimeo.

CAT MAN

SPOTTED: Cat Man in Prospect Park.

he had a cat on a leash, which of course goes against all things cats stand for. and he was dumping water on its head, which of course, it was FLIPPING out, because it's a CAT. then he started brushing it. then to everyone's surprise, he pulls ANOTHER CAT out of that black bag on his shoulder. seriously, look at how he is holding that bag, would you have thought a cat was in it? he was dumping water on it, while the other one was trying to get away. as far as we could tell, he was trying to sell the cats, but no one was buying. then when the cat on the leash wouldn't walk with him, he picked it up and carried it, cooing to it saying 'when we get home, we're going to watch spongebob.' so if you want a cat to dump water on, throw in a bag and watch spongebob with, give this dude a call at 718-CAT-MAN1.

BONER PARTY

SPOTTED: Banana hammock g-string in Brooklyn Bridge Park

he was applying lotion so that he tans evenly. Wish I had gotten him bent over applying lotion under his g-string. Walker was embarrassed, and tried to be incognito by putting Laurel's hat and my sunglasses on. It kind of just makes him look like a douchey hipster, I mean, awesome.

hope this letter finds you well

Dear R Train,

I'm sorry, but it's over.

After a year and a half of back and forths, wobbly roads, and a lot of impatient waiting, I am moving on. And I want you to know that the C and I are starting to see each other.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed our time together. You're clean, reliable, and relatively good looking, but the C is just closer to my new house and work, and therefore more convenient. I know it's shorter, but sometimes a little less isn't so bad, and so far the C always crowds me, but sometimes I need that in life. You never seemed to care as much. You always came too quickly before I could get downstairs, at least the C will wait for me to get there first.

Also, I wanted you to know that sometimes on late nights... I, well....frankly, I cheated on you with the E. I don't know what it was... I know the E is ugly, really slow, and very seldom reliable, but you weren't around at night when I needed something there for me to help me get home safely. As for the other trains, we're all just friends, despite what the V has been telling you.

You've been good to me, and I appreciate it. I can't say I won't miss you, and I promise I'll visit sometimes. I'll stop by and say Hi if I need to go to SoHo or the Flatiron Building, but I can always take the W if it's too awkward.

I will always hold a special place in my heart for you. You introduced me to this city, and hell, if it doesn't work out with the C, maybe I'll be back for you.

Love,
Jennifer

top 5 songs of the moment

I literally CANNOT stop listening to them...in no particular order. And I know none of them are necessarily new, but whatevs. I'm addicted right now.

1. MIA - Paper Planes. You've all heard it (all 3 people who read this ever). But from the first second I heard this song (months and months and months ago EVERYWHERE), I've been hooked. I never stop disliking it. No matter what! And I just was revived with seeing Slumdog - which is AMAZING.



2. Beyonce - Single Ladies. The dance is just. so. addictive.



3. T.I. - Whatever You Like. Ok, I first of all I LOVE T.I. SO MUCH IT'S SCARY (I guess I just like dudes that are about to go to jail). But this song, for some weird reason - I just really like it.



4. Concrete and Clay - Unit 4 + 2. I know this song is old and I've heard it 1,000 times, but this song is the song of my future. I just love it. It just cheers me up walking to work.



5. Noah and the Whale - 2 Atoms in a Molecule. 



Last night, I had a dream
We were inseparably entwined
Like a piece of rope made out of two pieces of vine
Held together, holding each other
With no one else in mind

Like two atoms in a molecule
Inseparably combined

But then I woke from the dream
To realise I was alone
A tragic event, I must admit
But let's not be overblown
I'm not trying to write a love song
Just a sad, pathetic moan

And maybe I just need change
Maybe I just need a new cologne

But now I look at love
Like being stabbed in the heart
You torture each other from day to day
And then one day you part
Most of the time it's misery
But there's some joy at the start
And for that, I'd say it's worth it
Just use a blade that's short and sharp on me

And if love is just a game
Then how come it's no fun?
If love is just a game
How come I've never won?
I guess maybe it's possible I might be playing it wrong
And that's why every time I roll the dice
I always come undone

cut and paste this

a few months ago i wanted to make this a cut and paste blog, but i never have my camera on me anymore...and i never see any awesome cut and paste action in the subways anymore either

but then two months ago i read this article in ny mag.

and about two months ago i meant to post it...but better late than never, right? either way...i think it's better to look out for that dude's "sporadically updated flickr account," rather than this blog. especially considering i never see any cut and paste, and i never update this blog.

things that happened in LA

i...

1. vomited in the bathroom at cbs films.

2. experienced an earthquake in the middle of said vomit.

3. caused a minor collision as the result of said vomit and earthquake (but we had full insurance on our rental, so we're good).

4. asked matthew gray gubler in the middle the farmer's market on 3rd and fairfax where the bathroom was. then went back and talked to him for a second. (no one knows who he is, right? well, he's hot, funny (here's his website, and some fake documentaries he made), and on one of those stupid CBS crime dramas.)

5. ate approximately 4 hamburgers (1 from in & out, 3 from 25 degrees), 3 burritos/quesadillas, and a whole bunch of other crap.

6. played 'whose boobs are fake?!' by the pool at the roosevelt.

7. made friends with the security guard in the backlot at kimmel. we might play poker some time.

8. ran around like my head was cut off from meeting to meeting.