you're nobody til somebody loves you

my apartment is a safe haven. i'm friends with joe, our neighbor. i'll have to take a picture of him later. he's an older dude from croatia. we talk a lot. he's friends with everyone in the neighborhood. i feel like i've retired here. here are pictures our cute little apartment...or at least some.




i hate this picture, mainly because i took it of myself, and i have a pet peeve against people doing that, but i really like this picture at the same time. i look how i feel. okay... i look a little bit more angry than i feel, but you get the picture...ha, get the picture. this is my room. the green is the best color in the world to have on your wall.





for the first time since i moved, i'm lonely. it's a revelation i had last night after i saw brett perform at the ucb for his graduation show. i was sitting on the subway, reading a book, and i looked around. no, there wasn't cute couples holding hands or anything....there were just a few people, and they were all alone. and they looked really tired...and a little sad. there was an asian lady who didn't look up. she kept her hands in her lap and was staring at something on the floor of the subway.

i decided i needed something, so i stopped by the natural market and picked up double chocolate brownie ice cream (soy of course...because that's all the have). on the way home, i saw a cat with one eye, and a little boy run to his sister and throw a hula hoop at her. my empty apartment welcomed with open arms, and for the first time in a loooong time, i cried. then i stayed up til 5 watching 'six feet under.' i'm completely and totally addicted to their craziness. it makes me feel better for some reason. and it's a good reason to cry. after all, someone dies every episode.

my sleeping and eating schedule are completely screwed up. if i can get my life in order, maybe they won't be. i turned down the position at the museum of the moving image. i supposedly got the better, higher paying job at central talent booking, but i haven't heard anything from her since friday - the interview. who knows. i suppose it will work out for the best, right?

additionally, i have realized many things about mr. white. without garlic powder and parmesan cheese, he would not be alive today. without his vast supply of chocolate syrup and dark chocolate m&ms, he wouldn't be happy. and without his comics, he would be bored.

this is the aftermath of his half milk/half chocolate syrup/m&ms explosion.



god, i love living with him.