the most confusing building in america.

(i can't take credit for this glorious picture.)

the other day i had to pick up three vip tickets for monday's oprah taping in new york. i walked down to 8th ave, and walked up to this gigantic and intimating building. when i entered, there were long escalators with water fountains flowing down the sides. i turned right as instructed. 'hearst publications' was written over the welcome desk, and i stopped over. they called up to sarah, the person i was supposed to meet on the 36th floor. i heard the guy next to the lady i was talking to say, "yeah, it's pretty confusing," but my lady didn't elaborate on this for me. she handed me this, and told me to go upstairs, call the number and ask for the girl:


easy, right? wrong. i started to put it on, but refrained. i had to scan it first. these weird metal doors opened, and i had escalator access. i went up, and turned to find the elevators. after finding them, i stood there for roughly 30 seconds. there was no button to push. i went over to this kiosk-looking thing. i stood there. then a woman walked up and typed a number in. being human, and having lived 22 years, i obviously watched and then tried to mimick her actions. it didn't work. she was nice enough, however, to say "yeah, this place is extremely confusing." and tell me what to do. the elevator opened for both of us, and we went up. we had a short conversation. she said that because of those elevators, she gets on other ones and does nothing. at the hearst tower, it's done for you. i stepped off on the 36th floor, and walked around for a moment. i was in the middle of two glass walls with 'O' on one side and 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' on the other. i walked over to the phone (which took me much too long to find - as everything else in the building, it did not look like a typical phone). sarah answered and walked over to meet me. we went in and i got the tickets. she asked if i had an idea of how to leave, and i just shook my head. she had to push a button for me to leave, and then i walked over to the elevator kiosk. this time i knew what was up. and then i went down. after going down the escalator, i started to walk out of the door. i was confused at first. i had to walk through the same metal turnstile, and it was automatic.

i walked out on the street and took a breath. the crazy, technologically advanced, and completely unnecessary building was behind me.