Wednesday, August 29, 2007

explosive rats!

last night was the strangest night here. i drank my normal amount of booze (which is far more than any normal human being), and i was doing my talky mctalkerson bit. however, everything i was saying was completely stupid and awkward. we've all had those moments, and last night was mine. i couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. i went from person to person with no actual conversation, and basically pointing to the drink in my hand as if to say, 'this is why.' by the time we left the bar (around 2:30), i felt like a complete idiot.

brett and i went down to wait for the E train. here's the thing about that effing train - it comes every 30 minutes. we got down to the station around 2:36 (even when i'm drunk i'm OCD about time). we had just missed it. so finally, around 3:09 the next train comes rolling into the station. the good thing about this, however, is i was very entertained by these two german dudes hitting on chicks. one of their shirts said "pretty fucking vacant" and three sets of eyes with those three different expressions on it. the other one said something about "too hot" or something. i'm sure brett remembers. that shirt disgusted us both. i kind of liked the other one.

anyway, the train comes, and we begin our way. brett and i have a lengthy conversation about how fucking dumb i am, and we finally reach astoria. three stops away. and then something explodes on the track, and the train fills with smoke. the driver comes over the speaker and yells, "all passengers please make your way to the back of the train." brett and i were in the front of the train. i was FREAKING out, for multiple reasons. i think the driver had hoped that we were far enough back for the tail end of the train to be at the previous station, which was 23rd st and ely. we weren't. so we sat there for about 15 minutes, while he kept coming through. the train's power was turned off, and we heard sirens. then we powered back up and moved again. we FINALLY got to our stop (around 4) and we were walking up the stairs. i saw a rat, and being still drunk, instead of screaming, i jumped beside it and started yelling "hey rat!" the rat then ran over brett's feet. he squealed (i would have too), and i laughed.

xoxo

ps-have you seen 'man band' yet? brett and i now dvr it and watch it together. it's probably the funniest show in the world. it's a dude from color me bad, a dude from LFO, the only one that was not a lachey in 98 degrees, and chris kirkpatrick from 'nsync. they are all in their 30s and trying to be successful again. it's hilarity. oh, and their band name is 'sure shot.'

Monday, August 27, 2007

i AM a holla back girl.

nopicturesthistime.

just ponder this:
if a black cat crosses your path, it's seven years bad luck, right?
what about an orange tabby?

i got the job at central talent booking.
i start next tuesday.
holla.

my hopes and dreams are to take a creative writing class soon. i'm just not sure where. i can't believe it myself, but i miss learning. now, here are my attempts to teach myself.

don't go too far, el capitán. the boat might sink in your absence.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

free in nyc


in new york, nothing is free. and i mean nothing. so when you convince a bartender to give you a free drink, you jump for joy. when you get into the ucb for free, you're over excited. when you get a free can of grapefruit juice from the local chinese restaurant, you are extremely confused.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

pet fashion week







additionally, this week i spotted prince (or at least his EXACT replica), saw a guy with one arm play harmonica, was serenaded by three dudes singing "only sixteen" by the supremes, and a purse snatcher - a real life purse snatcher. the whole "my purse! stop him!" bit and everything. it was crazy. all of this, of course, happening on the street...not at the pet fashion week...even though that would have been intense.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

you're nobody til somebody loves you

my apartment is a safe haven. i'm friends with joe, our neighbor. i'll have to take a picture of him later. he's an older dude from croatia. we talk a lot. he's friends with everyone in the neighborhood. i feel like i've retired here. here are pictures our cute little apartment...or at least some.




i hate this picture, mainly because i took it of myself, and i have a pet peeve against people doing that, but i really like this picture at the same time. i look how i feel. okay... i look a little bit more angry than i feel, but you get the picture...ha, get the picture. this is my room. the green is the best color in the world to have on your wall.





for the first time since i moved, i'm lonely. it's a revelation i had last night after i saw brett perform at the ucb for his graduation show. i was sitting on the subway, reading a book, and i looked around. no, there wasn't cute couples holding hands or anything....there were just a few people, and they were all alone. and they looked really tired...and a little sad. there was an asian lady who didn't look up. she kept her hands in her lap and was staring at something on the floor of the subway.

i decided i needed something, so i stopped by the natural market and picked up double chocolate brownie ice cream (soy of course...because that's all the have). on the way home, i saw a cat with one eye, and a little boy run to his sister and throw a hula hoop at her. my empty apartment welcomed with open arms, and for the first time in a loooong time, i cried. then i stayed up til 5 watching 'six feet under.' i'm completely and totally addicted to their craziness. it makes me feel better for some reason. and it's a good reason to cry. after all, someone dies every episode.

my sleeping and eating schedule are completely screwed up. if i can get my life in order, maybe they won't be. i turned down the position at the museum of the moving image. i supposedly got the better, higher paying job at central talent booking, but i haven't heard anything from her since friday - the interview. who knows. i suppose it will work out for the best, right?

additionally, i have realized many things about mr. white. without garlic powder and parmesan cheese, he would not be alive today. without his vast supply of chocolate syrup and dark chocolate m&ms, he wouldn't be happy. and without his comics, he would be bored.

this is the aftermath of his half milk/half chocolate syrup/m&ms explosion.



god, i love living with him.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

trailer parks and interviews

in case you are wondering, this is what a trailer park looks like according to new yorkers:





okay, so i still haven't really taken any pictures. truth is, i've shelled myself up in my apt for the past 3 days to finish some pressing dish magazine stories.

yesterday, however, i couldn't take it anymore. i had to get out. so i ventured over to times square. if you are lonely, here's a word of advice: don't go to times square. i'm sure anyone could have told you that, but i thought brushing up against strangers (like regina encourages us to do) was a viable option. the only brushing i did was to escape their clutches. i spent well over $100 (shopping is a bad idea if you are lonely too), and was treated rather rudely. in this great adventure, i realized something. everyone i've met is "aspiring" - aspiring actors, directors, writers (god save their souls), journalists, comedians, etc. at what point did any of these people give up their dreams to become taxi drivers, subway drivers, waiters and waitresses? if las vegas wasn't built on winning, new york was definitely not built on people realizing their dreams. however, there seems to be hope in all of this. even though i've been here for an extremely short while, i've already heard about a number of people who have "made it."

speaking of realizing our dreams...


this is the chair i sat in for an hour while i tried to realize mine. what is mine, you ask? to get a job. a real job. i interviewed at the museum of the moving image today, and showed up 45 minutes before the guy interviewing me did. there was a terrible storm last night and all the subways were down (seriously, that's crazy to me), so i left early for my interview. trust me. that chair is not comfortable and definitely left triangle imprints all over the ass of my new dress.

at least when i made the comment that those chairs were slightly ridiculous, he laughed a lot and agreed. i could have potentially offended him, i guess.

Monday, August 6, 2007

start spreading the news

when i first arrived here a few days ago, i was sure that i was still in murfreesboro. it wasn't until i went into the city the next day that i realized i had really moved. after all, i moved in with brett on the cutest street in the world. and even more so, when we first got here, we threw everything in my apt. and ran to walmart and ikea. then we came home assembled all of the furniture. it took forever. i put together everything except my desk from ikea (that would be the futon, tv cart, cabinet thing and bookcase), while my mom washed dishes and my dad fiddled with my fourth "wall," which is really just a curtain. when we settled down to sleep, it was approximately 107 degrees, and i felt bad. my parents slept in my "room" without the curtain up and no sheets. it was hot.

the next day i woke up at approximately 6am, which i had been doing for the entire week before that. when i get nervous, i don't eat and i definitely don't sleep. it's how i stay in shape, really. but we woke up, showered, and ran to bed bath and beyond and home depot, narrowly avoiding walmart again, considering it was about 30 minutes away. we got home and i continued to construct my furniture while my parents tried to put up my curtain. after a lot of screaming, fighting, and hugs, my parents and i set off to explore astoria. it's pretty much adorable. there are bars and cute cafes everywhere, not to mention donuts and organic food stores. we got back around 8pm, and my parents left.

i then headed to manhattan to meet someone that i kinda knew from the boro. i arrived at this fancy restaurant/bar somewhere on 70th near central park at around 9, and immediately ordered a jack and coke. $11 later, i decided that's all i would be drinking for the nite. it was super fun, and i met a ton of people, but the entire time all i thought was "how am i going to get home?" at about 2am, we set out on the street to find an atm so i could hail a cab and go home. problem was, no one would go to astoria. so we went down to the subway, and i said my slightly nervous goodbyes to the dudes that were nice enough to help me out. i then ventured downstairs, and just as i expected, there was one person. and he was a dude. he didn't look at me, so i thought i had it pretty good. then i realized why he wasn't looking at me. he was staring at boobies. in a porn mag. "sweet," i thought as i backed up slowly. "i'm going to be raped and thrown on the track." but then something wonderful happened - the train came.

the ride to astoria was a slightly confusing one. the train i normally get on wasn't running then, so i was definitely trying my luck on this one. luckily, i'm not afraid to ask questions, because after i had sat down, a girl who speaks broken english politely explained to me that we were headed to brooklyn. unluckily, that is the exact opposite way to my apt. i hopped off the train, ran upstairs, and ran over to the other one. i did my best remembering and got off at 30th ave, and walked the 17 short blocks home. no really, they're short blocks. i then realized that 30th ave is the coolest place in astoria. there were gobs of people outside (need i remind you it was 2:45 in the morning), all drunk and dancing. there was cafes on the street, which is something i've always wanted to see/be a part of. i made it home sans scrapes and bruises, but i did see a dude on my street passed out on the steps in front of his door.

the next day brett and i went to best buy and michael's, which is apparently not too far from my apt. then he went into the city, and i got ready to meet him at 6pm. we ate barbeque in midtown manhattan, and i was so happy. we explored h & m and then walked over to the ucb. we got into the first show for free, but i paid for the other 2. they were great. "mother" and "reuben williams" performed, along with brett's friend katey. comedy is something i'm not used to, so when we went to mcmannus afterwards (a bar), i tried my best to keep up with all the names of the groups and people and performances. i felt like everyone was constantly performing, and i had nothing to say but a few puns. i did get a high five for one though, so it made me feel better. i chatted up some cute gay dudes (dammit), and brett's friends were nice. then brett, hal and i split a taxi home.

yesterday i got up late and met those dudes from the boro in midtown at blockheads, known for its burritos and $3 margaritas. i was slightly uncomfortable, but the tequila helped that quite a bit. i then realized there was no need to be uncomfortable - the dudes are awesome. i got a little drunk (off 2 tasty margaritas - pretty sure i'll always be a lightweight), and we went over to a virgin megastore and this other store that sells sheet music. we jumped on the subway and ended up where i was wanting to go all day - the quad theater. paris je t'aime was playing, and even though i had already seen it, i loved it so much i wanted to again. the movie ended and the dudes agreed that it was an absolutely amazing flick (thank god, cause that was definitely my first impression on them). austin went home to practice (he's auditioning for saved! the musical some time today), and ben, chris, and i went to trailer park, an amazing bar. honestly, i loved it there. i took pictures, which are actually the first i've taken since i moved here, but i don't have internet on my computer, and i don't want to put a bunch of shit on brett's. i'll post them later.

okay, so job prospects? i have an interview sometime this week with brett's boss, as her personal assistant, and an interview at a museum in astoria as a sales assistant. i really want the job with brett's boss, but who knows if i will get it at all.

now i have to go back to working on dishmag stuff. i'm still freelancing for them, and i have some work to do. i'm not sure i'm going to manhattan today. i think i'm going to make bean burritos for brett and me instead.

xoxo
jennifer