Thursday, January 24, 2008

please, studio heads, hear my earnest plea

okay - you can say tv is evil, but i don't give a shit. i miss it.

IN FACT

last night, i missed tv so much that
i actually watched a couple minutes of NANCY GRACE (which was all about poor ledger)
an entire episode of drake and josh
a disney channel original movie from 2000 called "up, up and away!"
and then project runway, even though i vowed not to because it's so BORING this season.

oh yeah, and i went to bed at 11.



PLEASE GIVE THE WRITERS WHAT THEY WANT.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

another reason to stay away from chinatown


there has to be a REASON to post this sign in the post office, right?
and in two languages at that.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

DeFord Bailey was amazing.


I came across this article that I wrote for the magazine I worked for this summer. Since the magazine only published part of it, here is the rest. This man should be honored by everyone. It's a tad dated as the garden opened in the summer some time, but you get the idea.

“The black and the white – all want to hear the same tune.”

The words of DeFord Bailey will forever be immortalized in country music. An African-American harmonica player, DeFord was the first person to EVER perform on the Grand Ole Opry after it was renamed and one of the first people to be recorded in Music City, USA – Nashville.

This summer, EarthMatters Tennessee, a non-profit group dedicated to organic growing methods, opened the DeFord Bailey Tribute Garden at the George W. Carver Food Park in Nashville. The garden features close to 300 roses – all named after famous songs such as Ring of Fire and Tennessee Waltz, and country stars including Dolly Parton, Amy Grant, Pam Tillis, and the newest addition, DeFord Bailey.

“All of my life, I’ve heard people talk about DeFord Bailey and the great contribution he has made to country music,” says Parton. “He was one of a kind, and his memory will live on forever. A tribute garden in his name is a wonderful idea, and I am so proud to have a Dolly Parton rose in his garden.”

Added to the collection were flowers dedicated to Patsy Cline, Janice Wendell, and Brenda Lee. As Frankie Staton, Urban Country Showcase founder and 25-year music veteran, says, “This garden will serve as a harmonious place to be inspired while sitting among nature and reflecting on the lives of the people honored here – a place to come and be refreshed and inspired. ”

The DeFord Bailey Tribute Garden is part of an effort throughout Nashville to pay much overdue honor to this influential artist. “We can’t care about what we don’t know about it,” says country singer Pam Tillis. “And it’s so important to know about the firsts that DeFord was involved with – the first recording session in Nashville, sang the first song on the Grand Ole Opry. He is such a part of history it’s unbelievable. And more people need to know the DeFord Bailey legacy, it’s so important and this garden is certainly a step in that direction.”
DeFord, called the “Harmonica Wizard” by “Judge” George D. Hays, was always a musician. Born in 1899 in Smith County, Tenn., 40 miles from Nashville, DeFord lost his mother at a very young age. His Aunt Barbara Lou raised him, bestowing upon him his very first harmonica. When he was three, he contracted polio and was bound to the bed for at least a year, only able to use his hands and head. This is where he perfected his harmonica, or as he called it, harp, skills. Lying in bed and listening to the sounds of farm life – from roosters crowing to horses neighing – Bailey began to imitate them, capturing his signature style.

He was especially known for his imitation of trains. “Some people can play the train,” he once said, “but they can’t move like I do. Most of theirs sound like they’re running, but the sound is standing in one place too long. You can tell my train is moving. Every time I blow, you can tell I’m getting further. It’s moving out of sight as I blow. When I get about 115 miles an hour, I can feel it. My normal speed is 95 miles an hour. That don’t feel like I’m doing nothing, but my train sure enough moves along.”

Kathy Conkwright, who researched, wrote and produced a documentary called, “DeFord Bailey: A Legend Lost” in 2005, says that she first became interested in DeFord mainly because he talked about something called “black hillbilly music.”

“Being from the south, I never really attributed – I always thought that country music came from white rural folks,” Conkwright says. “Dr. Charles Wolf at [Middle Tennessee State University] explained to me that African Americans have been singing this musical genre that we now call country roots music for decades. In fact, many of the most influential first country music starts were mentored by African American musicians including Jimmy Rogers and the Carter Family.”

DeFord was not only an influence for other performers, but he was also instrumental in naming the Grand Ole Opry. Preceding that night’s show was an opera, with the last song the sounds of a locomotive. As DeFord was the first that night, coming on to play his Pan American Blues, Judge Hays said, “We’ve just heard grand opera, now you’re gonna hear Grand Opry.”

In 1928, DeFord became a regular on the Opry stage, appearing twice as much as the other performers. Also that year, he cut eight sides for RCA Victor, placing him among the very first recording sessions that ever took place in Nashville. During this time, he met and married his wife, Ida Lee and had three children, DeFord Jr., Dezoral Lee, and Christine Lamb.

With the stock market crash of 1929, DeFord became an entrepreneur, starting a barbeque shop and a shoe shine shop. Then, to make ends meet, he began to tour with other Opry greats, such as Roy Acuff and Uncle Dave Macon. This proved difficult for DeFord, as being an African American in rural south often did, but he persevered.

“Often times he was forced to wait back stage between performances alone because it was illegal to socialize with white associates,” says Conkwright. “Sometimes Uncle Dave Macon would tell hotel owners that he was his valet, so that he could sleep insides. Acuff once snuck him in to a hotel in an instrument case. When he was not so lucky, he was forced to sleep outside, eat meals outside, and was regulated to a second class citizen.”

In 1941, DeFord was forced to leave the Opry, which still regarded as one of the most controversial and interesting aspects of the famous show. Once again, however, DeFord persevered. He worked full time in his shoe shine shop, continuing to play at home.
He once said, “I played for walls and God to continue playing.”

DeFord would only make four more appearances on the Grand Ole Opry stage, prompted by his good friend, biographer David Morton. He had plenty of offers for other engagements, but turned them all down – convinced everyone was trying to swindle him. DeFord died on July 2, 1982.

Morton wrote his biography in 1991, and in 2005, over 75 years after he first took the stage, DeFord was finally inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. “I first thought this was going to be a story about a music talent, someone who knows how to master his instrument and contributed to American music history,” Conkwright says. “But very soon, as I began to learn more and more about this man, I just couldn’t believe what he’s been able to do and give, not just to the music history, but to history in general. He was someone that encapsulated the true character and bravery and courage of an American.”

Listen here. Seriously, he was amazing.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

i actually did something besides watching "lost"

laurel and i had quite an adventure saturday.

it started in hell's kitchen. while waiting for her, i decided to stop by a rite aid and send miss nutt a birthday card. the wind was blowing, so i decided to stay near the mailbox that i put her card in, which was located a few feet from the corner of 50th and 8th.


as i stood there, two things happened. first of all, a man walked over to the mailbox, opened it, looked in, and then closed it. in his hand were a few pieces of mail. he started to walk away, and then stopped, turning as if the mailbox was talking to him. he then opened it again, put his mail in, closed it, and walked away. he rounded the corner, then came rushing back. he looked in again. i believe he was sure that the mailbox was just going to eat it.


then something else happened. something much more new york - two women smoked crack in a telephone booth. one at a time. a cop car passed by and i thought they were going to run, but they didn't. they played it cool, and then continued to smoke. best experience of my life, except that i also thought they were going to kill me.


laurel met me and we went over to arriba, arriba (a mexican place that is supposedly delicious and has an awesome brunch), but as we were walking, we passed vynl and went in there instead (to read more about vynl stay tuned to http://whoatethebigapple.blogspot.com). food was grrreat, and the atmosphere was even better.


then we went to meet brett for the "no pants subway ride." we didn't participate, but we did see a lot of underwear. it was quite fun, honestly. we just sat in the station watching the different 6 trains pass with half-naked people, and all the other people's reactions. soon, brett went home to change, and laurel and i decided to go around union square and find me something a little warmer to wear (hence my brand new yellow jacket). then we had smores and wine at a bar. (okay, so it was cosi, but still, it was funny). this older woman, who everyone that worked there knew her name, sat there and tried to make conversation, but she seemed a little too gone for real conversation. she was breathtaken by the smores. she said she had never seen them before, ever. she was a little crazy, but i liked her.


afterwards, we went downtown to meet brett at the sci-fi art show opening at MF Gallery (which stands for monsterface, not motherfucker as we once thought). needless to say, it was awesome. there was a captain crunch monster/alien painting that i loved, and another one titled 'ghost doctor,' that was just a ghost with a doctor coat. my fave was an old paned window with different aliens sticking out. i can't quite remember what the name of it was, but i loved it. i would have purchased it if i had $200 lying around, but i decided it was best that i leave it.


we walked next door to st. jerome's, which is quite possibly the best bar i've been to in new york. it was clean, the bartender was super hot, and when we walked in a ramones documentary had just finished. oh, yeah, and the well drinks were only TWO DOLLARS. and they were big and got me drunk quickly. let's just say that i love st. jerome's and suggest everyone go there. i'm sure we'll talk soon about the bar in our blog as well.


brett left to go karaoking (so jealous), and laurel and i decided to drunkenly make our way to the lit lounge to dance. we finally made it, but unfortunately, there was no dancing - just a really bad band that cost $6. we left after enduring a few songs (i think their name was 'guitar and cymbal' or something, no offense if you ever google yourselves and see this, but i just was not a fan).


so we walked a few more blocks and went to beauty bar to dance. we got there about 11, but the back wasn't open yet, and it was packed. i asked this greaser-type bartender (super cute and dirty) when the dancing would begin and he said shortly, so we just waited. while waiting, i attempted to get a drink, and this fucker with plugs was rather rude to me when i asked him a question. the back finally opened up and laurel and i went back to sit down and observe. there were guys on the prowl, an australian who was wearing the shiniest shirt i have ever seen, and these two chicks with blue wigs who obviously thought they were hot. laurel and i decided to act only interested in each other, and every time some creepy dude tried to rub up on us, we moved quickly to the other side. then we decided together that we had two things we needed to do before we left the bar. one - pinch hot greaser bartender's ass. two - rip the wig off one of the blue girl's heads (they were super annoying).


soon we soon got tired of dancing and the general douche attitude of everyone there, and decided to vamoose. i didn't see the greaser, but i decided that i didn't care that much. but then - as we turned to walk out, i saw my two missions in front of me, the blue haired girl and directly after her was the greaser. immediately, i shoved into the blue haired girl, to which she said something like "oh my!" and then i reached down and grabbed the greaser's ass. he turned to look at me and all i said was "oops! sorry!" and kept walking. oh, and outside one of the married guys was talking to like three girls about "meeting up with some friends." i just yelled "he's married!" and kept going.


i decided to take the long way home and ride the N, as it was a very nice night. i was going to call some west coast peeps, but i decided instead to get falafel and listen to music. i simply love astoria. granted, i hate the greeks constantly yelling out at me as i walk, but i don't ever feel threatened. i just don't want to date them.

xo

Thursday, January 10, 2008

dogs are da best



i live with one, and the other one sits in my lap at work. you can guess which i mean...wink wink

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Scientoloblogy

okay, so this morning i was reading the lastest issue of the new yorker and i came across a very interesting article about scientology (you know that crazy ass religion that a science fiction writer, LRH as they lovingly call him, made up?). it's mainly about the Celebrity Centre (celebritycentre.org), which just so happens to have a drug detox clinic in the basement...humm. and i realized - this is a huge epidemic. yes, it's been gaining speed, but i had no idea about some (not all but SOME) of these celebrity members: marissa ribsi (she's so cute too), beck, tom cruise (and katie), john travolta (and kelly), jason lee, kristie alley, jenna elfman, juliette lewis, danny masterson, and more. in fact here are more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scientologists

i would just like to say right now. this is kind of scary - is it just me? this "way of thinking/religion" is spreading like the flu - and i have to say, i just had the damn flu, you don't want it. in fact, i think i just gave the flu to all of my co-workers. you can ask them - they sure as hell don't want it either.

so, here's the real reason for this blog. i decided to pretend i was from Fairytale Land Road to take a free stress test on scientology.org (which, ps - for them to get non-profit status, they stole a bunch of irs documents and LRH's wifey went to jail for four years). the only way to get your results is if you go to a facility, but i more so i just wanted to see what the questions would be. i'm glad i did. i just want to say that i don't like making fun of religions. i think it's cruel and completely no one else's business. however, scientology is not a religion. it is a cult. and that's not coming from some other belief system, that's coming from me.

either way - check it out, it's fucking crazy. i highlighted my favorites:

1. Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations which later you regret? (Are you a celebrity?)
2. When others are getting rattled, do you remain fairly composed? (Are you Tom Cruise?)
3. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries just for pleasure? (Railway timetables?)
4. When asked to make a decision, would you be swayed by your like or dislike of the personality involved? (Personality or PERSON?)
5. Do you intend two or less children in your family even though your health and income will permit more? (Are you rich?)
6. Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason for it? (Are you addicted to heroin?)
7. Would you prefer to be in a position where you did not have the responsibilities of making decisions? (Who wouldn't?)
8. Are your actions considered unpredictable by other people? (Are you a celebrity?)
9. Do you consider more money should be spent on social security? (Seriously, what?)
10. Do other people interest you very much? (Are you a celebrity watcher?)
11. Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch? (Are you John Travolta?)
12. Do you normally let the other person start the conversation? (Are you shy?)
13. Are you readily interested in other people's conversations? (Are you nosy?)
14. Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing? (Are you a member of PETA?)
15. Are you often impulsive in your behavior? (Are you a celebrity?)
16. Do you speak slowly? (Are you from the South?)
17. Are you usually concerned about the need to protect your health? (Are you a hypochondriac?)
18. Does an unexpected action cause your muscles to twitch? (Seriously, are you on heroin?)
19. Are you normally considerate in your demands on your employees, relatives, or pupils? (Do you "demand" stuff?)
20. Do you consider that you could give a valid “snap judgment”? (Can you make decisions...on heroin?)
21. Do your past failures still worry you? (Are you Kristie Alley?)
22. Do you find yourself being extra-active for periods lasting several days? (Are you Tom Cruise on Oprah?)
23. Do you resent the efforts of others to tell you what to do? (Are you really, really bad at taking advice?)
24. Is it normally hard for you to “own up and take the blame”? (Are you a person?)
25. Do you have a small circle of close friends, rather than a large number of friends, speaking acquaintances? (Do you only do heroin in the bathroom at LA night clubs?)
26. Is your life a constant struggle for survival? (Are you Survivor Man?)
27. Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it? (Are you Beck?)
28. Are you considered warm-hearted by your friends? (Are you Jason Lee?)
29. Would you rather give orders than take them? (Are you controling?)
30. Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates? (Are you a gossip rag?)
31. Could you agree to “strict discipline”? (Are you into S&M?)
32. Would the idea of making a complete new start cause you much concern? (Would you like to join a cult?)
33. Do you make efforts to get others to laugh and smile? (Are you a clown?)
34. Do you find it easy to express your emotions? (Are you loose?)
35. Do you refrain from complaining when the other person is late for an appointment? (Do you just not give a shit?)
36. Are you sometimes considered by others a “spoilsport”? (Are you Tom Cruise?)
37. Do you consider there are other people who are definitely unfriendly toward you and work against you? (Are you CRAZY?)
38. Would you admit you were wrong just to “keep the peace”? (Do you love fighting/possibly hurting people?)
39. Do you have only a few people of whom you are really fond? (Who do you do heroin with?)
40. Are you rarely happy, unless you have a special reason? (Are you on anti-depressants?)

it sounds to me like they are just trying to find weak people and give them something to believe in. they don't believe in taking any types of anti-depressants or ritalin or anything like that. i'm not sure why. i'm really curious to know the thought process that went behind all of this fucked-up-ness. i'm pretty sure it was just a bet.

Friday, January 4, 2008

2008

i rang in the new year with a new haircut, a new dress, and way too much...confidence. i kissed a lot of people (on the cheek, thank you) and perhaps danced with (on?) a few too many others.

now here are the things that i've lost since '08 began:
-one earring (from my fave pair)
-my makeup
-my glasses
-my hairbrush
-my keys

luckily, i found the latter three. but i really want my earring. it's irreplaceable (i got them from a yardsale for 50 cents)

my resolutions are so many i can't even remember.
mainly it was being myself here in new york. my dorky, corny self. i never cared before, but now i feel like i'm just trying to impress people.
okay blah blah blah. i don't want this to sound like a high school blog.

either way, i should have eaten some fucking blackeyed peas on the 1st, because now i have the FLU. yes, the FLU. and how did i get it? probably from kissing all those people. or on the subway when that homeless guy licked me.*

hopefully i'll feel better and remember those resolutions. i think one of them might have been to remember things more often.

oh well
xo

*didn't happen, but i did see a guy pick up a piece of paper that had been sitting in the seat before he got there, fold it multiple times while talking to himself and waving his arms in a "tada!" fashion (like it was a magic trick), and subsequently put it in his mouth. 

oh, new york. you're just too cute for words.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

christmas in new york

this car drove around the office two or three times playing "new york, new york." i loooved it.



this is just a little house on my street. a lot of people decorated, but they went all out. i just have to say that this house is just like a house in tennessee, only it's in a much smaller space to put all those damn decorations. a little loud, perhaps?