i heart chicken nuggets?

christmas time is here

brett and i posed for christmas cards...you'll see the actual card soon. xo

thanksgiving

macys from the empire state building



the rockettes

a little more pathetic than mr. charlie brown's infamous tree. i put an ashtray next to it so you'd have a reference.

warming our hands by the fire.

...only laurel looks like she was the one who started it.

the past month in pictures

FAO Schwartz

waiting to see jimmy carter

breakdancers in central park - one from detroit, the rest from europe

more "entrepreuners" in central park using a cute little kid to get money.

i finally did my own laundry (like freedom, who i copy, i hate laundromats). however, the lady at the end of the aisle is the scariest little doll woman i've ever seen. she is a good reason to go to the laundromat. this was actually my (failed) attempt to get a good picture.

HALLOWEENIE

chinatown buses

suck.

day trip to philly for joe and annie's wedding

weekend rollerskate dance parties in central park

are the best.

i would have still been game.

the most confusing building in america.

(i can't take credit for this glorious picture.)

the other day i had to pick up three vip tickets for monday's oprah taping in new york. i walked down to 8th ave, and walked up to this gigantic and intimating building. when i entered, there were long escalators with water fountains flowing down the sides. i turned right as instructed. 'hearst publications' was written over the welcome desk, and i stopped over. they called up to sarah, the person i was supposed to meet on the 36th floor. i heard the guy next to the lady i was talking to say, "yeah, it's pretty confusing," but my lady didn't elaborate on this for me. she handed me this, and told me to go upstairs, call the number and ask for the girl:


easy, right? wrong. i started to put it on, but refrained. i had to scan it first. these weird metal doors opened, and i had escalator access. i went up, and turned to find the elevators. after finding them, i stood there for roughly 30 seconds. there was no button to push. i went over to this kiosk-looking thing. i stood there. then a woman walked up and typed a number in. being human, and having lived 22 years, i obviously watched and then tried to mimick her actions. it didn't work. she was nice enough, however, to say "yeah, this place is extremely confusing." and tell me what to do. the elevator opened for both of us, and we went up. we had a short conversation. she said that because of those elevators, she gets on other ones and does nothing. at the hearst tower, it's done for you. i stepped off on the 36th floor, and walked around for a moment. i was in the middle of two glass walls with 'O' on one side and 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' on the other. i walked over to the phone (which took me much too long to find - as everything else in the building, it did not look like a typical phone). sarah answered and walked over to meet me. we went in and i got the tickets. she asked if i had an idea of how to leave, and i just shook my head. she had to push a button for me to leave, and then i walked over to the elevator kiosk. this time i knew what was up. and then i went down. after going down the escalator, i started to walk out of the door. i was confused at first. i had to walk through the same metal turnstile, and it was automatic.

i walked out on the street and took a breath. the crazy, technologically advanced, and completely unnecessary building was behind me.

life is a highway

i really don't like that song, but it's in my head. i don't know why, but it concerns me.

i'm digressing. the real point of this blog is not tom cochrane's hit. the point is my new job.

i love it. being someone's assistant is exhilarating, believe it or not. i like calling people and organizing things and doing what i should do. i'm a peculiar lady. at first, i was freaking out, because i kept feeling stupid. but then, it's like it all clicked, and now i'm good at what i do. already. of course, there is tons of room for improvement. and it will come.

working in new york is interesting, though. you order almost everything online and you use messenger services. in tennessee you would just drive. additionally, working for someone who has more money than i will ever see in my entire life is...i'm not even sure if there is an adjective to describe it. it's absolutely brilliant. basically, i never have to worry that when she asks me to do something, i'll spend too much money on her card. of course, i don't go for the most expensive things, but the sky is the limit for the most part. it's just crazy. (both of those adjectives i will deem suitable until further notice)

meanwhile, i'm still doing that comedy jazz. and by that, i've decided that i am a straight up improv groupie. it's not that i'm doing all the dudes, it's more that i'm just always around but not acting, and always chatting up people and not acting, etc. i like everyone i've met, and those that i don't like...i don't talk to. i have nothing to lose so it does matter what i do or say.

last night crystal and i went to see demetri martin tape his new show for comedy central. after waiting three hours on the street, we finally got to go in at 10:30...and we left around 1. all i have to say is, wow. demetri was nice to everyone, but he wouldn't shut the fuck up in between takes. i mean, i appreciate him trying to be all "sweet" and everything, it's just - i was tired, sweaty, and disgusting. i wanted to go home, take a shower, and sleep (which would solve all of those problems). and i was in a terrible mood from waiting so long. the show was/is going to be hilarious. just don't stand on a street for three hours in between four girls who kept calling people "tragically hip" and talking about going to shows to see shitty bands before you watch it.

let me describe these girls for a moment. they were obviously in high school, first of all. the girls in front kept talking about god-knows-what and saying "like" a million freaking times. the two girls behind us...one had pink hair and other had i-don't-know hair. and huge jugs. i thought they were okay, but they most certainly thought they were awesome in their low cut shirts and leggings. was i jealous? not at all. i just felt like i was doing a time warp, and i considering i hate anything to do with high school, i was not fond of heading down that road. i did join their mtv conversation, but i immediately regretted it and stepped away. crystal joined me, thank god.

okay, i have completely digressed. no turning back. for those that care, i'm coming home the last weekend of september. can we make a date please? i love you all. xo

explosive rats!

last night was the strangest night here. i drank my normal amount of booze (which is far more than any normal human being), and i was doing my talky mctalkerson bit. however, everything i was saying was completely stupid and awkward. we've all had those moments, and last night was mine. i couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. i went from person to person with no actual conversation, and basically pointing to the drink in my hand as if to say, 'this is why.' by the time we left the bar (around 2:30), i felt like a complete idiot.

brett and i went down to wait for the E train. here's the thing about that effing train - it comes every 30 minutes. we got down to the station around 2:36 (even when i'm drunk i'm OCD about time). we had just missed it. so finally, around 3:09 the next train comes rolling into the station. the good thing about this, however, is i was very entertained by these two german dudes hitting on chicks. one of their shirts said "pretty fucking vacant" and three sets of eyes with those three different expressions on it. the other one said something about "too hot" or something. i'm sure brett remembers. that shirt disgusted us both. i kind of liked the other one.

anyway, the train comes, and we begin our way. brett and i have a lengthy conversation about how fucking dumb i am, and we finally reach astoria. three stops away. and then something explodes on the track, and the train fills with smoke. the driver comes over the speaker and yells, "all passengers please make your way to the back of the train." brett and i were in the front of the train. i was FREAKING out, for multiple reasons. i think the driver had hoped that we were far enough back for the tail end of the train to be at the previous station, which was 23rd st and ely. we weren't. so we sat there for about 15 minutes, while he kept coming through. the train's power was turned off, and we heard sirens. then we powered back up and moved again. we FINALLY got to our stop (around 4) and we were walking up the stairs. i saw a rat, and being still drunk, instead of screaming, i jumped beside it and started yelling "hey rat!" the rat then ran over brett's feet. he squealed (i would have too), and i laughed.

xoxo

ps-have you seen 'man band' yet? brett and i now dvr it and watch it together. it's probably the funniest show in the world. it's a dude from color me bad, a dude from LFO, the only one that was not a lachey in 98 degrees, and chris kirkpatrick from 'nsync. they are all in their 30s and trying to be successful again. it's hilarity. oh, and their band name is 'sure shot.'

i AM a holla back girl.

nopicturesthistime.

just ponder this:
if a black cat crosses your path, it's seven years bad luck, right?
what about an orange tabby?

i got the job at central talent booking.
i start next tuesday.
holla.

my hopes and dreams are to take a creative writing class soon. i'm just not sure where. i can't believe it myself, but i miss learning. now, here are my attempts to teach myself.

don't go too far, el capitán. the boat might sink in your absence.

free in nyc

in new york, nothing is free. and i mean nothing. so when you convince a bartender to give you a free drink, you jump for joy. when you get into the ucb for free, you're over excited. when you get a free can of grapefruit juice from the local chinese restaurant, you are extremely confused.

pet fashion week

additionally, this week i spotted prince (or at least his EXACT replica), saw a guy with one arm play harmonica, was serenaded by three dudes singing "only sixteen" by the supremes, and a purse snatcher - a real life purse snatcher. the whole "my purse! stop him!" bit and everything. it was crazy. all of this, of course, happening on the street...not at the pet fashion week...even though that would have been intense.

you're nobody til somebody loves you

my apartment is a safe haven. i'm friends with joe, our neighbor. i'll have to take a picture of him later. he's an older dude from croatia. we talk a lot. he's friends with everyone in the neighborhood. i feel like i've retired here. here are pictures our cute little apartment...or at least some.




i hate this picture, mainly because i took it of myself, and i have a pet peeve against people doing that, but i really like this picture at the same time. i look how i feel. okay... i look a little bit more angry than i feel, but you get the picture...ha, get the picture. this is my room. the green is the best color in the world to have on your wall.





for the first time since i moved, i'm lonely. it's a revelation i had last night after i saw brett perform at the ucb for his graduation show. i was sitting on the subway, reading a book, and i looked around. no, there wasn't cute couples holding hands or anything....there were just a few people, and they were all alone. and they looked really tired...and a little sad. there was an asian lady who didn't look up. she kept her hands in her lap and was staring at something on the floor of the subway.

i decided i needed something, so i stopped by the natural market and picked up double chocolate brownie ice cream (soy of course...because that's all the have). on the way home, i saw a cat with one eye, and a little boy run to his sister and throw a hula hoop at her. my empty apartment welcomed with open arms, and for the first time in a loooong time, i cried. then i stayed up til 5 watching 'six feet under.' i'm completely and totally addicted to their craziness. it makes me feel better for some reason. and it's a good reason to cry. after all, someone dies every episode.

my sleeping and eating schedule are completely screwed up. if i can get my life in order, maybe they won't be. i turned down the position at the museum of the moving image. i supposedly got the better, higher paying job at central talent booking, but i haven't heard anything from her since friday - the interview. who knows. i suppose it will work out for the best, right?

additionally, i have realized many things about mr. white. without garlic powder and parmesan cheese, he would not be alive today. without his vast supply of chocolate syrup and dark chocolate m&ms, he wouldn't be happy. and without his comics, he would be bored.

this is the aftermath of his half milk/half chocolate syrup/m&ms explosion.



god, i love living with him.

trailer parks and interviews

in case you are wondering, this is what a trailer park looks like according to new yorkers:





okay, so i still haven't really taken any pictures. truth is, i've shelled myself up in my apt for the past 3 days to finish some pressing dish magazine stories.

yesterday, however, i couldn't take it anymore. i had to get out. so i ventured over to times square. if you are lonely, here's a word of advice: don't go to times square. i'm sure anyone could have told you that, but i thought brushing up against strangers (like regina encourages us to do) was a viable option. the only brushing i did was to escape their clutches. i spent well over $100 (shopping is a bad idea if you are lonely too), and was treated rather rudely. in this great adventure, i realized something. everyone i've met is "aspiring" - aspiring actors, directors, writers (god save their souls), journalists, comedians, etc. at what point did any of these people give up their dreams to become taxi drivers, subway drivers, waiters and waitresses? if las vegas wasn't built on winning, new york was definitely not built on people realizing their dreams. however, there seems to be hope in all of this. even though i've been here for an extremely short while, i've already heard about a number of people who have "made it."

speaking of realizing our dreams...


this is the chair i sat in for an hour while i tried to realize mine. what is mine, you ask? to get a job. a real job. i interviewed at the museum of the moving image today, and showed up 45 minutes before the guy interviewing me did. there was a terrible storm last night and all the subways were down (seriously, that's crazy to me), so i left early for my interview. trust me. that chair is not comfortable and definitely left triangle imprints all over the ass of my new dress.

at least when i made the comment that those chairs were slightly ridiculous, he laughed a lot and agreed. i could have potentially offended him, i guess.