i actually did something besides watching "lost"

laurel and i had quite an adventure saturday.

it started in hell's kitchen. while waiting for her, i decided to stop by a rite aid and send miss nutt a birthday card. the wind was blowing, so i decided to stay near the mailbox that i put her card in, which was located a few feet from the corner of 50th and 8th.

as i stood there, two things happened. first of all, a man walked over to the mailbox, opened it, looked in, and then closed it. in his hand were a few pieces of mail. he started to walk away, and then stopped, turning as if the mailbox was talking to him. he then opened it again, put his mail in, closed it, and walked away. he rounded the corner, then came rushing back. he looked in again. i believe he was sure that the mailbox was just going to eat it.

then something else happened. something much more new york - two women smoked crack in a telephone booth. one at a time. a cop car passed by and i thought they were going to run, but they didn't. they played it cool, and then continued to smoke. best experience of my life, except that i also thought they were going to kill me.

laurel met me and we went over to arriba, arriba (a mexican place that is supposedly delicious and has an awesome brunch), but as we were walking, we passed vynl and went in there instead (to read more about vynl stay tuned to http://whoatethebigapple.blogspot.com). food was grrreat, and the atmosphere was even better.

then we went to meet brett for the "no pants subway ride." we didn't participate, but we did see a lot of underwear. it was quite fun, honestly. we just sat in the station watching the different 6 trains pass with half-naked people, and all the other people's reactions. soon, brett went home to change, and laurel and i decided to go around union square and find me something a little warmer to wear (hence my brand new yellow jacket). then we had smores and wine at a bar. (okay, so it was cosi, but still, it was funny). this older woman, who everyone that worked there knew her name, sat there and tried to make conversation, but she seemed a little too gone for real conversation. she was breathtaken by the smores. she said she had never seen them before, ever. she was a little crazy, but i liked her.

afterwards, we went downtown to meet brett at the sci-fi art show opening at MF Gallery (which stands for monsterface, not motherfucker as we once thought). needless to say, it was awesome. there was a captain crunch monster/alien painting that i loved, and another one titled 'ghost doctor,' that was just a ghost with a doctor coat. my fave was an old paned window with different aliens sticking out. i can't quite remember what the name of it was, but i loved it. i would have purchased it if i had $200 lying around, but i decided it was best that i leave it.

we walked next door to st. jerome's, which is quite possibly the best bar i've been to in new york. it was clean, the bartender was super hot, and when we walked in a ramones documentary had just finished. oh, yeah, and the well drinks were only TWO DOLLARS. and they were big and got me drunk quickly. let's just say that i love st. jerome's and suggest everyone go there. i'm sure we'll talk soon about the bar in our blog as well.

brett left to go karaoking (so jealous), and laurel and i decided to drunkenly make our way to the lit lounge to dance. we finally made it, but unfortunately, there was no dancing - just a really bad band that cost $6. we left after enduring a few songs (i think their name was 'guitar and cymbal' or something, no offense if you ever google yourselves and see this, but i just was not a fan).

so we walked a few more blocks and went to beauty bar to dance. we got there about 11, but the back wasn't open yet, and it was packed. i asked this greaser-type bartender (super cute and dirty) when the dancing would begin and he said shortly, so we just waited. while waiting, i attempted to get a drink, and this fucker with plugs was rather rude to me when i asked him a question. the back finally opened up and laurel and i went back to sit down and observe. there were guys on the prowl, an australian who was wearing the shiniest shirt i have ever seen, and these two chicks with blue wigs who obviously thought they were hot. laurel and i decided to act only interested in each other, and every time some creepy dude tried to rub up on us, we moved quickly to the other side. then we decided together that we had two things we needed to do before we left the bar. one - pinch hot greaser bartender's ass. two - rip the wig off one of the blue girl's heads (they were super annoying).

soon we soon got tired of dancing and the general douche attitude of everyone there, and decided to vamoose. i didn't see the greaser, but i decided that i didn't care that much. but then - as we turned to walk out, i saw my two missions in front of me, the blue haired girl and directly after her was the greaser. immediately, i shoved into the blue haired girl, to which she said something like "oh my!" and then i reached down and grabbed the greaser's ass. he turned to look at me and all i said was "oops! sorry!" and kept walking. oh, and outside one of the married guys was talking to like three girls about "meeting up with some friends." i just yelled "he's married!" and kept going.

i decided to take the long way home and ride the N, as it was a very nice night. i was going to call some west coast peeps, but i decided instead to get falafel and listen to music. i simply love astoria. granted, i hate the greeks constantly yelling out at me as i walk, but i don't ever feel threatened. i just don't want to date them.

xo