Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Scientoloblogy

okay, so this morning i was reading the lastest issue of the new yorker and i came across a very interesting article about scientology (you know that crazy ass religion that a science fiction writer, LRH as they lovingly call him, made up?). it's mainly about the Celebrity Centre (celebritycentre.org), which just so happens to have a drug detox clinic in the basement...humm. and i realized - this is a huge epidemic. yes, it's been gaining speed, but i had no idea about some (not all but SOME) of these celebrity members: marissa ribsi (she's so cute too), beck, tom cruise (and katie), john travolta (and kelly), jason lee, kristie alley, jenna elfman, juliette lewis, danny masterson, and more. in fact here are more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scientologists

i would just like to say right now. this is kind of scary - is it just me? this "way of thinking/religion" is spreading like the flu - and i have to say, i just had the damn flu, you don't want it. in fact, i think i just gave the flu to all of my co-workers. you can ask them - they sure as hell don't want it either.

so, here's the real reason for this blog. i decided to pretend i was from Fairytale Land Road to take a free stress test on scientology.org (which, ps - for them to get non-profit status, they stole a bunch of irs documents and LRH's wifey went to jail for four years). the only way to get your results is if you go to a facility, but i more so i just wanted to see what the questions would be. i'm glad i did. i just want to say that i don't like making fun of religions. i think it's cruel and completely no one else's business. however, scientology is not a religion. it is a cult. and that's not coming from some other belief system, that's coming from me.

either way - check it out, it's fucking crazy. i highlighted my favorites:

1. Do you make thoughtless remarks or accusations which later you regret? (Are you a celebrity?)
2. When others are getting rattled, do you remain fairly composed? (Are you Tom Cruise?)
3. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries just for pleasure? (Railway timetables?)
4. When asked to make a decision, would you be swayed by your like or dislike of the personality involved? (Personality or PERSON?)
5. Do you intend two or less children in your family even though your health and income will permit more? (Are you rich?)
6. Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason for it? (Are you addicted to heroin?)
7. Would you prefer to be in a position where you did not have the responsibilities of making decisions? (Who wouldn't?)
8. Are your actions considered unpredictable by other people? (Are you a celebrity?)
9. Do you consider more money should be spent on social security? (Seriously, what?)
10. Do other people interest you very much? (Are you a celebrity watcher?)
11. Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch? (Are you John Travolta?)
12. Do you normally let the other person start the conversation? (Are you shy?)
13. Are you readily interested in other people's conversations? (Are you nosy?)
14. Would the idea of inflicting pain on game, small animals or fish prevent you from hunting or fishing? (Are you a member of PETA?)
15. Are you often impulsive in your behavior? (Are you a celebrity?)
16. Do you speak slowly? (Are you from the South?)
17. Are you usually concerned about the need to protect your health? (Are you a hypochondriac?)
18. Does an unexpected action cause your muscles to twitch? (Seriously, are you on heroin?)
19. Are you normally considerate in your demands on your employees, relatives, or pupils? (Do you "demand" stuff?)
20. Do you consider that you could give a valid “snap judgment”? (Can you make decisions...on heroin?)
21. Do your past failures still worry you? (Are you Kristie Alley?)
22. Do you find yourself being extra-active for periods lasting several days? (Are you Tom Cruise on Oprah?)
23. Do you resent the efforts of others to tell you what to do? (Are you really, really bad at taking advice?)
24. Is it normally hard for you to “own up and take the blame”? (Are you a person?)
25. Do you have a small circle of close friends, rather than a large number of friends, speaking acquaintances? (Do you only do heroin in the bathroom at LA night clubs?)
26. Is your life a constant struggle for survival? (Are you Survivor Man?)
27. Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it? (Are you Beck?)
28. Are you considered warm-hearted by your friends? (Are you Jason Lee?)
29. Would you rather give orders than take them? (Are you controling?)
30. Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates? (Are you a gossip rag?)
31. Could you agree to “strict discipline”? (Are you into S&M?)
32. Would the idea of making a complete new start cause you much concern? (Would you like to join a cult?)
33. Do you make efforts to get others to laugh and smile? (Are you a clown?)
34. Do you find it easy to express your emotions? (Are you loose?)
35. Do you refrain from complaining when the other person is late for an appointment? (Do you just not give a shit?)
36. Are you sometimes considered by others a “spoilsport”? (Are you Tom Cruise?)
37. Do you consider there are other people who are definitely unfriendly toward you and work against you? (Are you CRAZY?)
38. Would you admit you were wrong just to “keep the peace”? (Do you love fighting/possibly hurting people?)
39. Do you have only a few people of whom you are really fond? (Who do you do heroin with?)
40. Are you rarely happy, unless you have a special reason? (Are you on anti-depressants?)

it sounds to me like they are just trying to find weak people and give them something to believe in. they don't believe in taking any types of anti-depressants or ritalin or anything like that. i'm not sure why. i'm really curious to know the thought process that went behind all of this fucked-up-ness. i'm pretty sure it was just a bet.

2 comments:

April said...

someone in one of my classes took a free online quiz as well that required his name a phone number and junk. they called him in LESS THAN AN HOUR. those fuckers is crazy! and they're con artists. it costs like thousands of dollars to reach different "levels" within the "religion." i also feel like you might get into some sort of trouble for writing this blog. and that i may get into trouble for commenting on it. maybe they'll convert us and leah remini will be our homegirl.

Jennifer said...

be scared :)

i put in a fake phone number and address.